Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Iowa, You've Done It Again

I've always wondered why Iowa and its fine, fine residents are so often mocked in TV shows, movies, and everyday conversation. Yes, the winters are painful. And yes, Iowa is light on excitement and heavy on corn.  But as an Iowa native, I can't help but feel offended. It's not such a bad place in the summer, and I don't understand why the state is the butt of so many jokes.  Now, North Dakota on the other hand...

A little-known corn-based product invented in Iowa.

I think it's a few individuals who ruin Iowa's reputation for all of us. I'll admit, there are times when all the mockery starts to make sense. In this case, the party guilty of tarnishing Iowa's good name is a 68 year-old man named Larry Godwin, who lives in the bustling metropolis of Redfield, Iowa, population 800.

For those of you less familiar with Iowa geography, Redfield sits a few miles west of the other bustling metropolises of Adel and Waukee.  For those of you unfamiliar with either of those cities, Redfield isn't far from Des Moines.  Still can't picture it?  Redfield is roughly 1,100 miles due west of New York City.

Over the weekend, Mr. Godwin caught himself a raccoon in a live animal trap. Why he set a live animal trap, I have no idea.  But this looks harmless enough, doesn't it? What could possibly go wrong?

The problems began when Larry decided that he'd shoot the raccoon. He loaded his 22-caliber handgun, aimed, and fired. Oddly, it turns out that it wasn't the raccoon that was in danger. The bullet ricocheted off the cage, and Larry ended up with a bullet in his side.  But it gets better--the story takes a turn for the even more hilarious.

If there's a god, he must be a raccoon lover. Larry, stunned by his unexpected gunshot wound, dropped his handgun, which hit the ground and fired again. The second bullet also managed to find its way into Larry's side, lodging itself in just about the same spot as the first bullet. Ouch...that's two gunshot wounds, and one more black eye on Iowa's lowly standing among the fifty states. I give up...from this point forward, I'm lying whenever I'm asked where I grew up.

As always, here's a link to the official story.  Knowing Iowa, this was probably front page news in The Des Moines Register all week.


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