Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Breakfast Affair

I have some exciting news: there's a new woman in my life.  I've been seeing her every day for nearly two weeks.  I think about her when I go to sleep at night, and she's right there with me at the start of every day. I've been eating breakfast with her every morning, and the crazy thing is, I don't even know her first name.

This tale gets even more scandalous: this new lady of mine is married--and she's an older woman.  She's been married at least thirty years, but that hasn't stopped our scandalous love affair.  I won't get into the details, but I'll just say that she's added a certain spice to my life.  Craziest of all?  It was my grandmother who first introduced us!

This special new friend of mine is truly impressive. First of all, she's hardly tough on the eyes, with a slender figure, a hard body, and head of the brightest yellow blond you could ever imagine.  She's the quiet type and loves a good recipe, and she's held impressive positions at several important companies, including Alberto-Culver, Unilever, and now B&G Foods.  I'd say she's my sugar momma, but she's a health nut--she won't go anywhere near salt, let alone touch the sugar.

That's right, it's Mrs. Dash who has shaken me out of my mundane breakfast routine. I can claim with conviction that variety isn't the only spice of life.  Mrs. Dash runs circles around Aunt Jemima and puts Betty Crocker to shame.  For my single friends who are jealous of my new relationship, you can take consolation in the fact that Mrs. Dash has some equally attractive siblings.  Looking for a southwestern fling?  Prefer Italians, or maybe the Caribbeans?  Lucky for you, the Dash family is very a diverse group:

Think this blog post is a little cheesy? Well, so is my breakfast.  A few eggs, a sprinkle of shredded cheese, a rendezvous with Mrs. Dash, and the most important meal of the day has never been the same.

Note: This blog is in no way affiliated with B&G Foods, the owner of the Mrs. Dash brand.  I was, regrettably, not paid a single cent for this shameless promotion of the Mrs. Dash line of seasonings--I'm just a newly converted, die-hard fan.  But if someone from B&G stumbles upon this, I'm certainly not above cashing a giant thank you check...

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