Saturday, May 12, 2012

A Cosby Catastrophe

Leave it to Iowa to produce a weird and ironic story like this.  For once, this Iowa story doesn't involve corn or dangerous run-ins with raccoons!  Last Tuesday, dark smoke billowed from a semi trailer on the southbound shoulder of I-35, not far from Huxley, Iowa:

What could create an apocalyptic scene like this? A burning oil tanker? Some kind of strange corn-related emergency that one could only hope to find in Iowa?  No and no...and I already said this story had nothing to do with corn.  That burning mess is a trailer full of Jell-O pudding cups!  The cause of this mysterious pudding fire is still unknown, but the driver was able to escape unscathed after detaching the truck's cab from the trailer after noticing the flames.

I'm deeply disturbed by the color of the smoke emanating from the pudding fire...let's hope those are chocolate fumes.  But with all the freaky artificial ingredients it must take to give Jell-O pudding it's unnaturally smooth texture, it's a wonder the whole trailer didn't go off like an atomic bomb when the first cup ignited.  Huxley firefighters were able to reign in the flames and put out the fire, but not before they were forced to turn the fire hoses on a group of unruly fat children who were willing to risk third-degree burns to get their hands on a mountain of free pudding cups.

My own mother was affected by The Great Iowa Pudding Fire of 2012.  As firefighters battled the blaze, she was headed southbound in a bus full of high school students returning from a field trip. The combination of afternoon rush hour and the pudding fire placed her bus squarely in the middle of a traffic jam, perhaps the first pudding-related traffic jam in the history of the world.  Luckily, this was an Iowa traffic jam, which means that the pudding fire caused a five-car backup in the fast lane.  Fortunately, her bus was only thirty seconds late returning to the school.

I haven't had a chance to talk to Mom since the pudding incident, but I only hope that she did the right thing and encouraged the bus driver to pull over so she could offer her assistance to the pudding cups. I secretly hope that she returned to the scene later with that big truck of hers to haul the remains of the trailer back home...I expect a pantry full of survivors next time I'm home in Iowa.

 Perfectly capable of hauling a trailer of pudding...

The pudding scene looked bad to begin with, but it must have been an absolute nightmare for one man in particular.  For Bill Cosby, I imagine watching the news on Tuesday night and seeing all those pudding cups burning was like witnessing thousands of little family members perishing in a roadside fire.  The scene was probably as frightening to him as being slapped with that sexual harassment lawsuit back in 2006.

I first heard about the pudding fire when Mom sent me a link, and after reading it, I noticed that the comments section was packed with all kinds of Bill Cosby jokes.  One comment mentioned something about Cosby being in Iowa the day of the fire, which I assumed was just someone kidding around.  But, as it turns out, Bill Cosby actually was in Des Moines the afternoon of the fire, speaking at something called the "Get Motivated Seminar."  How's that for an ironic coincidence?  Officials don't suspect foul play, but the fire makes a person wonder if Cosby's Jello-O promotion contract with Kraft didn't end on the best of terms...
P.S.: Mom, thanks for sending the link to this story!  You inspired me to write this  post, and with Mother's Day fast approaching, this is my early gift to you.  Feel free to print as many copies as you'd like!

No comments:

Post a Comment